So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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