Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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