How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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