He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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