Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
