I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
