Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
