Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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