We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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