A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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