Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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