he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
