I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
