I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
