I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
