I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Never underestimate the power of titties
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
