the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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