She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
