she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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