They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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