wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
