I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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