Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
