I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
