you turned your livingroom into a bong?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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