you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
