I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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