Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
