I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
