1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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