he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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