her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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