who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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