You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
