SEEEEXXX PLEASE
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
