We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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