guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
