New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
