I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
