There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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