I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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