dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
