yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
