i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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