We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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