Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
