I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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