Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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