Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
