a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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