Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
